what to do when your birthday is forgotten
Question:
I work in an office with 8 other people and birthdays are historic with a block or we take upwardly money and purchase a souvenir. My altogether was December 31st and information technology was not afforded the same celebration as others. My feelings are now hurt and the team has picked up with the adjacent birthday in January.. I don't want to appear petty and immature but my feelings are hurt. I need guidance in how to approach my supervisor about my feeling.
Signed,
Hurt
Answer:
Dear Injure:
Earlier I answer your question–a valid one, and I can understand your frustration–let me make a few comments for the benefit of those reading this because they are checking on birthday policies.
The fact that birthdays are frequently overlooked in the rush of other holidays points out what many people maintain: Birthday celebrations where everyone participates whether they are shut to the altogether person or non, are often more virtually taking a break from work and eating block than they are about joy over someone's birthday or the positive benefits of coming together equally a team.
I receive many complaints from people who resent the requirement to spend money or fourth dimension on a birthday celebration for someone they don't experience shut to or fifty-fifty like.
I've received complaints from those who don't want their cubicles decorated or don't desire happy birthday played over the intercom. Some have noted the lack of equality between gifts for very popular people and those who aren't and so popular.
Bosses complain because they often take to add to the money that has been collected for a gift. I was once present when a supervisor went cubicle to cubicle saying, "Await, I know he's a miserable person to deal with, but I'm ordering you to become in there and smiling and sing happy altogether!"
Your question has been asked besides: What if i's birthday is skipped for one reason or another? In your case, your birthday is on a solar day when people often take the day off or go out work early. In that location are treats on every desk, everyone has spent every bachelor dime, and it seems rather superfluous to bring people together to have a block and give a token gift.
And all the same, I can see why y'all would want to be included in the same kind of birthday recognition that others are given. Equally you remember virtually what to practice, respond some questions for yourself every bit a mode to get a clearer picture of the situation: 1. Accept you lot been through this before in this office or was it your get-go time to celebrate your altogether there? 2. Do you have reason to know it was intentional on the part of ane or more people, to bypass your birthday? three. Does anyone realize your birthday was overlooked? iv. Were there other December birthdays that were remembered and just yours was not celebrated in the office? 5. Does anyone know that you intendance near it? Were you asked ahead of time or told that your birthday wasn't going to be celebrated?
Those will tell yous whether y'all should feel the incident was personally directed at cutting yous out of an office birthday remembrance. If it was accidental at that place is no reason to be injure, merely frustrated. If information technology was washed on purpose, behind your back, by people you thought were friends, that's something else. Now, you need to decide what volition make information technology right for you. You certainly don't desire a altogether celebration at the expense of losing the respect of others or having them make fun of you or resent your insistence. The birthday event only lasts an hour only you lot'll be working there every day!
Volition you lot be happy if you lot are included in the offset Jan outcome or do you want one just for yourself? Exercise y'all want a gift or will having a block and a go-together with those in the office be enough? Do you want the gift, but you don't care about the cake and get-together? Would information technology be enough if your co-workers merely told yous happy birthday and sounded sincerely happy well-nigh it?
Those are important for you to think almost as y'all consider your own motivation besides as what you want to ask for if you lot talk to your supervisor.
And, by the way, it's perfectly OK to admit that you lot WOULD similar a souvenir! After all, you've chipped in for the gifts of others, so I don't think that's selfish of you.
Consider these options: ane. If y'all take a friend in the office, talk to him or her and say that you lot were wondering if it would sound empty-headed to enquire that y'all be included in the January birthday recognition. Get that perspective, as well as letting them know your birthday was skipped. Your friends might have some action on their own or talk to the supervisor for yous. 2. Talk to your supervisor or the person in charge of the altogether events and ask if you lot tin can be included in at least the block part of the commemoration in January. Allow that person decide to include you in the gift equally well. If she doesn't you will probably exist better off not to push information technology.
3. Talk to your supervisor and say that yous aren't request to be part of the January effect, but would like to ask if adjacent year, even though it's a long way abroad, you could remind her to have your birthday event early on in the month, and so you could at least accept One place where your birthday doesn't get lost in the shuffle of holidays. That will not only prepare the stage for next yr, only will probably prompt her to suggest you be included in the January event. If she doesn't suggest that, you can decide if you want to ask for it.
4. If you call back the situation was intentional, ask your supervisor nearly that too, and ask about what else might exist going on that would have caused it.
Some might tell yous non say anything, but I don't agree with that. If you are working at that place adjacent year it volition happen once again and you lot'll be hurt and frustrated again, after spending a yr participating in the birthdays of others.
Be honest with the person or persons who can brand a difference, and let them know you would like to be included in the January altogether result, or the commencement Jan event if in that location is more than one planned–if that will work for you.
You might want to use some cocky-deprecating sense of humor to imply that you know it might sound funny to them, but you desire a altogether celebration like everyone else gets and y'all will feel left out otherwise.
If you take a skillful working relationship with most people in your office, they will not think badly of your desire to have a birthday recognition. In fact, they will probably exist anxious to make it up to you for forgetting information technology.
Best wishes every bit you make up one's mind what to do. And, a very happy altogether to you! On this date, in your nascency twelvemonth, you were probably getting a lot of attending as a cute three week old baby. Those were the days!
Tina Lewis Rowe
Source: https://workplacedr.comm.kent.edu/forgotten-birthday/
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